Why You Should Choose To Have Wedding Speeches Before Dinner

As a wedding pianist, one of the most popular times to have me playing piano, other than for the wedding ceremony, is during the wedding breakfast. I have been playing for this particular part of the day for over 15 years - this has allowed a LOT of people watching.

During this time I have seen several older traditions being relaxed, many in my opinion a positive change and not detracting from the sense of occasion.

One relaxed tradition becoming a growing trend is having speeches before the meal.

It is a great shout. Here's why...

I have seen far too many Grooms, Fathers of the Bride, Best Men, Brides, Mothers Of The Bride - indeed anyone who has decided they would like to say a few words, visibly change as they sit down to dinner.

Up until this point, they have been having a fantastic day - in great spirits, laughing, conversing, and you would hope having one of the best days of their lives.

Then they are called in to take their seats to eat, and I see them physically clam up, and essentially shut down over dinner as it has suddenly dawned upon them that after these three courses are served, it's time to stand up and speak.

Some head to the bar several times during these courses for some dutch courage refreshment, (again from experience, not a great idea.) whilst others opt to stay seated, looking vacantly through any non-speech makers who are sitting near them and are trying to engage in conversation.

The speech maker is now in all honesty, somewhere else - rehearsing the speech in their head, worrying they may not land the laughs they are hoping for, or that emotion will get the better of them, or perhaps that they may not project their voices loudly enough for everyone to hear... They may be worrying about a whole host of other unenjoyable niggling concerns as their "time to shine" looms - or worse, a combination of all of the above.

However the speaker prepares, what is normally universal amongst them, is that none of them enjoy their food. Some barely touch the meal, others force something down, but don't savour any of it. Eating whilst nervous isn't an enjoyable past time.

Weddings aren't cheap. Venues typically charge anything from £50/75/95 a head for the meal. Too much for even a solitary person in the room needlessly not enjoy it.

What follows the speeches, whenever they are, and being honest, however they have gone, is an overwhelming sense of relief from all speakers. The amount of times I have had someone who has made a speech say to me 'It's over! I can enjoy the rest of the day now", must genuinely be in the hundreds. You can see the weight has been lifted off of their shoulders, and they are back to how they should be.

The big advantage of having the speeches before, means that the elation that always follows a speech is now rewarded with, I promise, one of the best meals the speaker will have ever enjoyed. The endorphins have kicked in, the adrenaline has faded and everyone in the room is happy and relaxed - including now, the most important ones.

A lot of couples counter the "speeches before" argument with concern that their guests will be hungry and waiting for food. But hopefully they will have had a few canapés by this point and even if not, with short speeches (again a good shout) of 15-20 minutes collectively amongst the speakers, this small delay won't make any real difference to your group as a whole, but will make the world of difference to the people who matter the most.

Speeches Before!